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These short comedy skits which parody television commercials and products can be used in several different ways.
They can also be inserted as comedic “station breaks” or “fillers” to accommodate set changes in traditional theatrical plays and/or music programs. In addition, they can be videotaped for use in film/media/communications classes. If you do tape them, make sure to post them to SVN-TV! These scripts further allow for interchangeability insofar as casting male and female roles. CAST: “Paris” and “Nicole” – two blond, giggly bimbettes in flashy clothes and carrying purses that contain stuffed animal poodles with bejeweled collars.; one badly dressed frumpy student PROPS: A “Camp Fashionista” sign , a pager. AT RISE: Paris and Nicole stand together and face the audience. The sign hangs above their heads. PARIS: Are you, like, totally dreading going back to school after summer vacation? NICOLE: Do you, like, majorly need a makeover so when friends see you they don’t go “Ewwww”? PARIS: Then Camp Fashionista is the place to be! NICOLE: It’s, like, completely the last resort for losers. PARIS: The last…and the best! They both giggle at this. NICOLE: Why sit at home all summer and, like, do nothing when mucho bling from the ‘rents can get you waaaaaay cool results! PARIS: Why look like this— She waves her hand stage right. Spotlight on a badly-dressed and frumpy student with no style. PARIS: --when you can look like— The spotlight goes off on the student. If possible, an even brighter light comes up on them as they strike a glam pose. PARIS/NICOLE: Us! PARIS: In only one itsy summer we can totally teach you how to walk the walk— NICOLE: Talk the talk— PARIS: Shop til you drop-- NICOLE: And party on! PARIS/NICOLE: Woo-hoo! PARIS: Of course, Camp Fashionista is obviously not for everyone. NICOLE: (points at audience) But if it’s for you— PARIS/NICOLE: What are you, like, waiting for? Sound effects: Nicole’s pager goes off. NICOLE: Oopsie! I am soooooo late for the club. PARIS: No prob. It’s, like, completely on my way. NICOLE: (puzzled) Aren’t you supposed to be, like, not driving? PARIS: Duhhhhhhh. They only took my license, not my car. How stupid is that? They both giggle. PARIS: (to audience) We’ll see you at Camp Fashionista— NICOLE: --where every bod – even the ooky gross ones - totally gets a rest! PARIS: (scowls at her) That is, like, waaaay not funny. NICOLE: Huh? PARIS: “Arrest”? You sooooo said that on purpose! NICOLE: Did not! PARIS: Did, too! NICOLE: Did not! They exit offstage cat-fighting with one another. CAST: Announcer, Sleepy Person (in pajamas), Counter Clerk (in Stirbucks apron), Multiple Coffee drinkers (dressed for work or school) PROPS: Bed, counter, suspended chalkboard above counter with list of coffee flavors, café table, three chairs, Styrofoam cups, magic marker, two cell phones, laptop computer, newspaper. AT RISE: Announcer strolls out downstage left to address audience. ANNOUNCER: Have you ever wished you could get that fresh brewed taste of Stirbucks Coffee right in your own home? At Stirbucks, we’re changing the way you carpe diem. The lights come up to reveal a bed occupied by the sleeping Sleepy Person. Stage right is the Stirbucks counter and chalkboard sign. The Counter Clerk stands behind the counter. Downstage right is a café table and two chairs. A third chair is downstage center and facing the audience. COUNTER CLERK: (shouts loudly as she holds a marked Styrofoam cup) One Grande Mochalicious with whipped cream and sprinkles for Larry H! Her loud voice startles the Sleepy Person awake. He’s not sure at first if he’s dreaming. Larry H (with a newspaper) strides on from stage left and crosses to counter to pick up his order. LARRY H: That’d be me! He proceeds to sit down in the single chair facing the audience and looking at his newspaper. Two young women enter from upstage; they pause at the foot of the Sleepy Person’s bed but are too absorbed in conversation to notice him. WOMAN 1: And then I’m, like, no way! WOMAN 2: Really? SLEEPY PERSON: Uh—excuse me? WOMAN 1: So then he goes “For sure” and I’m, like, “what?” WOMAN 2: No! SLEEPY PERSON: Uh, ladies? Ladies? The first woman points to the sign. WOMAN 1: So whatcha gonna have? WOMAN 2: Maybe, like, Irish Cream? SLEEPY PERSON: Can someone please tell me what’s going on here? They cross to counter to order. WOMAN 1: Puh-leeze! That is sooooo yesterday! I’m having Hazelnut Huzzah. WOMAN: Is that, like, decaf or what? COUNTER CLERK: Comes in either one. MAN: Hey man, watch where you’re going! Man crosses to put in his order, just as the two women take their seats at the café table. SLEEPY PERSON: Sorry. Hey, wait a minute. What am I apologizing for? This is my bedroom! No one pays any attention to him. Sound effects: cell phone rings. WOMAN 1: (checks caller ID and shows phone to her friend) Is that totally cute or what? He so, like, can’t go five minutes without calling me. (takes call) Helloooooooooo. WOMAN 2: I’m gonna call mine. (she pulls out her cell phone and, like her friend, proceeds to engage in an ad-libbed conversation) Larry H. finishes reading his paper, sets it on the chair and gets up to exit. He sees the mystified Sleepy Person looking around and helpfully points to the chair he’s just vacated. LARRY H: I’m finished with the paper if you want it. (exits) SLEEPY PERSON: (shouts after him) It’s my paper! WOMAN 2: (to Sleepy Person) Hellooooo? Can you keep it down? I’m, like, having a conversation? COUNTER CLERK: (reads off Styrofoam cup) One Grande Cappuccino for Aspiring Screenwriter Martin! MAN: Yo! (He takes the cup and proceeds to cross to the bed where he will set up his laptop) COUNTER CLERK: Two Hazelnut Huzzahs for Jen and Janice! WOMAN 2: (to companion who has just finished her own call) Oooh, that’s us! WOMAN 1: I’ll get ‘em! (she jumps up to retrieve their coffees from the counter; she turns and notices Sleepy Person; she smiles) Hi. Come here often? SLEEPY PERSON: Uh - I live here…I think. She looks as him as if he’s weird and returns to the table to join her friend. Sleepy Person scratches his head. Counter Clerk notices him. COUNTER CLERK: Hey, you gonna order something or what? I don’t have all day here! The action onstage freezes. The Announcer grins and toasts the audience with a Styrofoam cup. ANNOUNCER: At Stirbucks, we want to be your wake-up call for life! Blackout |
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